i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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