You can't special order awesome
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
