I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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