Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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