Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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