i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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