I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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