He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
