On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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