Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize