yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
