So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i dont even know how to be here
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
