i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
