I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
false alarm, still single
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