Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
barbara walters just said penis...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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