I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize