she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
