she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
