So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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