Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
