After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
