But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It was confusing and full of hummus
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
