if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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