you mean i was at the winter classic?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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