i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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