The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
