I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
