My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
