i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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