i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
