I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
