I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
