I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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