I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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