your parents love me but you hate me
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I am spending my child support on dildos
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
