More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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