Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Two words: blizzard sex
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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