Sry I called you an 8
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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