Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
