Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize