My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
what day is it and did you see me today?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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