The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
