it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize