dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
