My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
