remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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