idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize
