i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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