my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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