Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
