You smell like stripper and shame
We need to rekindle our bromance
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
